OMG a video!

And now for something completely different.......


I thought it would be fun to add a video or two so here we go! Years ago I walked into a pet store and to my horror it was snack feeding time. The young worker dropped a rat into the tank and that rat immediately jumped to the top looking for an exit. This was no ordinary rat! It knew what fate was waiting curled up in the corner of that glass prison. I told the worker "I want to buy that rat". She told me no!? I did get a bit mad and said "why not". She told me they have a tank full of them over there, pointing to the side. I told hre "I want THAT rat" saying it loud enough so the owner could here and pointing at the little gray fellow that was still trying to find an exit. The owner yelled over "sell her the rat"! My daughter who was little at the time clapped and they removed the future Miss. Bianca from the last tank she would ever know and into a small box.





Miss. Bianca was a wonderful pet. She lived in a two story ferret cage but was allowed out whenever it suited her. Fully housetrained and wouldn't even give your finger a nibble. She loved us and we loved her. She also loved apples and cupcakes. :-) Now rats have a flaw and that is a short life. One day a lump formed on her and it kept growing and we brought her to the vet to find it was cancer and there was nothing we could do. She died in her cage quietly.........

Something extrodanary about Miss. Bianca was that she did not fear cats. They really took an interest in her and would sit on her large cage for hours on a cat bed. But if a paw or tail dangled she would show them who was boss and grab it! lol Many times I'd bring her out to hang with me as I did chores. She had a favorite room. The spare room. Where she would play in an old loveseat the dogs used. Here are two videos showing how she showed the kitties not to mess with her.

I can't remember if it was before or after Richard had found a mother cat with kittens outside and rescued them. Above this you'll see those kittens trying to figure out Miss. Bianca.

Now below this you'll see a video or Spade. Our very chubby cat who was constantly a victim of Miss. Bianca despite the fact he was a mouser!

Well I hope you like these old home movies. I really never know how to end a blog so..

RATS RULE!!!!!!!!!!!

Time doesn't agree with me

Next month I'll be 29.

On March 5th I'll officially start the last year of being twenty something. What do I have to show for my youth? My figure sucks. My hair is limp and plain. My skin still fights puberty for some damn reason. My voice is forever changing yet always the same. I sound too young to be taken seriously. My physicality is in Intensive Care. Running is out of the question. Being active in general is so tiresome now. I get body pain. BODY PAIN! How can I be this damn old...or in the words of a country song "I'm much too young to feel this damn old". But am I young anymore?

It feels like I never had that moment in my life that I was at a perfection. A pretty time period. Where maybe I could turn a head or two. That's vanity for you! Deep down we all want to be some type of perfect. Some type of pretty. What would I do with the attention? Nothing. Just maybe wouldn't feel so encased by my cage of insecurity. My sisters were the pretty ones in every mans eyes. They had confidence with that and despite how much I would hate living their lives I envied their freedom found inside them that they used to live it.

My faith makes me happy. HA! Faith is actually my sister's name but I'm talking about literal "Faith". My God makes me happy.......okay he's your God too but I'm his favorite. :-P My family makes me happy. Not all my family but the few close to me and of course my husband and children. I wish for my daughters I could be a pretty mother. I wish for my husband I could be a beautiful wife. If you could see how absolutely handsome he is you would know how absolutely insecure I am with him.

The irony is I'm too old in my opinion but too young to be seen as a threat in art shows. At least mine sell. So neener neener..

Time doesn't agree with me. But time keeps moving on. Even when you take the batteries out I can hear the clock ticking away. I do so miss the sun dial.

Age is just a number!

I should say "legal" age is just a number. The problem is that most of the jokes about the age difference in a couple's relationship are true most of the time. It makes me really mad when that's the case. It give credence to all the skeptics that have talked about my relationship behind our back. There are 22yrs between us and honestly in the beginning I didn't care one bit. But the more I'm reminded of that fact the more I think about the day that might come when he leaves this world before me. Something I could never deal with.
"If you live a hundred years I want to live a hundred years minus one day so I would never have to be without you" Winnie the Pooh

I am not a gold digger and trust me there is no gold to dig. Before him I never wanted to share my life with anyone or care so much for someone like I do now. He doesn't like my age at all. So no he isn't some perv and he never showed me off in the beginning or the present. If anything he wouldn't hold my hand or stand next to me in public for the longest time. Now we've found a medium on how to co-exist out in the world. But when we encounter friends that have entered into a similar situation we know the realty of things. Even so when the inevitable happens it worries us. I worry he'll leave me someday. I guess as much as the next person in love would worry. I think about it so often. Someone young who doesn't get sick who has the perfect body and is perfect in Christ as he would like. I don't think he worries the same thing about me. He doesn't worry. But he does control. It brings him order and he likes order. I don't mind at all as I enjoy order and routine. Brings me comfort......

Still age is just a number, right? Then why does every couple have to face it like it's a terrible thing. Why are there women out there that use older men and how do they sleep at night? Why are there older men that can't think beyond sex? People are complicated and thus annoying. I just want things to be simple but I know it never will be.

It's a male/female thing....right?

I get a bit down on myself when it seems that my husband and I don't enjoy some of the same things but I fail to consider something that should be obvious. I'm a woman and he's a man! No I'm not referring to gender specific activities. Shopping or building stuff. That isn't what I mean. I mean that men just do not want to do certain things with their women. Even if they enjoy these things. I should have known this sooner. I see men around this town hanging out with each other and they don't include their wives. So obviously it's how relationships go. It's not that we both don't enjoy the beach or going on trails through the woods...it's because I'm a woman and he's a man and it just would not be a cool thing to do together.

Now saying that I feel a bit depressed. I'd love to share those things.......Men just don't reciprocate that feeling.

Love should never be a secret

"And you my friend I know you well I've flown with the angels
as you've crawled through hell"

We live most of our lives in our heads. Have you ever seen someone that attracts you or know someone that you think highly of...maybe even love? Yet everyday you choose not to say anything. There could be logically reasons. Maybe that person is involved or you just are not close enough to even talk too? But you've made a liar out of yourself by harboring feelings that you never plan on sharing. Maybe they will never flurish into something but they may brighten someone's day.

There is something to be said about honesty and living a truth-filled life.